Monday, February 25, 2008

A Lily and a Sunflower


We've all been working on some form of the winter crud this past month. Mix that in with Lily's first two teeth popping in and you have the recipe for some big-time excitement. (As of today I think we are on the getting-better side of things). I'm feeling rather uninspired right now, but I wanted to get a few shots up. So, rather than being clever and cheeky, I will simply leave you with a few masterful quotes from Jack Handy:
  • A funny thing to do is, if you're out hiking and your friend gets bitten by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going to go for help, then go about ten feet and pretend that *you* got bit by a snake. Then start an argument with him about who's going to go get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.

  • Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.

  • The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

  • If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.

  • If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

  • If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.

  • The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean this?" and pull out a big piece of meat from inside the blob of potatoes, where I've hidden it. Good magic trick, huh?

  • I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to where there was going to be an eclipse and tell the cave men, "If I have come to destroy you, may the sun be blotted out from the sky." Just then the eclipse would start, and they'd probably try to kill you or something, but then you could explain about the rotation of the moon and all, and everyone would get a good laugh.

  • If you ever accidentally drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because man, they're gone.

  • If you're robbing a bank and your pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh, and let your hostages laugh too, because come on - life is funny.







I wanted to throw a few pics from Lily's friend Anne's first birthday party. From what I can tell they had a great time. I mean who wouldn't have a great time squishing your toes in someone else's birthday cake. Can life get any better? I suggest that it cannot.



Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy VaLILYentines Day!

ell here they are... my little family: Shauna, Dylan, Micah and Lily. As you can tell the kids get their great looks from the 'hot chick' in the middle.
It's Valentine's Day today. I've never been great at this holiday and I'm not sure why. Perhaps its because there seems something a little disingenuous about stopping off at the grocery store after work to purchase a wilted rose and a bundle of baby's breath for $1.99 (because I refuse to pay $20 /rose at the local florist); then signing my name to a Hallmark card, which was composed by a hermit named Leon...living in Montana... sitting at his desk... overlooking Lake I-Should-a-Been-a-Uni-Bomber; then presenting her with a stash of Andes Chocolates I swiped from the Olive Garden.
Shauna doesn't like chocolate. She thinks flowers are a waste of money. She doesn't wear jewelry. Lingerie seems more like a gift for me than her. So, what's a fellow to do? The older we get the more utilitarian these holidays become. Maybe that's why I'm not very good at this holiday.
You need to understand, if I was to break down and ask her, "what would you like for Valentine's Day?" the conversation would look like this:
"I want a trip to Tahiti!"
"Seriously, What would you like me to give you for Valentine's Day?"
"I want Ballroom Dance Lessons!"
(Ballroom Dance Lessons: The Fox Trot; The Waltz; The Tango; The Rumba; The Cha Cha; etc.)
When she says she wants ballroom dancing what she is really saying is, "I want YOU to take dance lessons with me." There are two problems I have: 1) Apart from some mean break dancing skills... I don't dance, and 2) I'm sure it would only be a matter of time before I found myself sitting in the corner while a young Latino named Ricardo de Valentino whisked my wife through the air "showing" me how to dance. I think I'll stick to the buck ninety-nine rose.

The bottom line is that I love my wife. I don't mean that to sound mushy and gushy... I really do love her. If Valentine's Day doesn't do anything else it makes me stop and remember "Hey! I'm one blessed ragamuffin to be spending my life with a girl like this."
Besides the fact that she is scorching hot:
She's the perfect mom to our boys. She knows the delicate balance of protection and permission, encouragement and instruction, discipline and spoiling. She knows how to get in the floor and wrestle with them.
She's the perfect role model for our daughter. Lily will see the embodiment of grace and beauty, wisdom and truth in her mother. There will come a day when she will strive to emulate the external and internal beauty she has seen lived out before her. She will take Lily's hand and show her how to walk with elegance, live with passion, and dance with grace.
She's simply the perfect wife for me.

To quote the Song of Solomon:
"1 How beautiful you are, my darling!
Oh, how beautiful!
Your eyes behind your veil are doves.
Your hair is like a flock of goats
descending from Mount Gilead.

2 Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn,
coming up from the washing.
Each has its twin;
not one of them is alone.

3 Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon;
your mouth is lovely.
Your temples behind your veil
are like the halves of a pomegranate.

4 Your neck is like the tower of David,
built with elegance;
on it hang a thousand shields,
all of them shields of warriors."

(I told you I wasn't very good at this holiday!)






Sunday, February 3, 2008